Remaining Open, Receptive, Expecting Hope
I spend a great deal of my waking days counseling children, adolescents, and their families in a social service agency. I enter some very broken situations and begin most of my sessions with a question, “How can I help?” This simple question implies I believe I can offer something tangible to a family in conflict. It implies I have an agenda of help for a situation riddled with shame or wounds. In my counseling work I really do want to be of service. What can I do? What can I offer? What can I figure out? How much do I know? It’s not a bad thing to be competent. But those of us in the “helping professions” would do well to not let a session be about our need to help.
I recently began a spiritual direction session with a very similar question. Actually, I believe I asked, “What is your intention for this hour?” (That’s the kind of spiritual direction lingo that makes me embarrassed to see it in type.) My spiritual companion brought some wisdom that morning by quickly answering, “I don’t know. I plan to stay open and see what comes today”. Ah, those were the words we needed to start the time together. He helped me cut through the presumption that I could direct his life.
Spiritual direction begins with an attitude of receptivity. A stance of openness. The phrase “spiritual direction” is really a misnomer. I direct no one. Rather, when two of us gather with the intent of listening, my companion is right - something does come today. But it usually is not what we expect. That “something” is never something of my making. In the spiritual direction space, we begin our conversation with some observations of our week or month. I ask questions. The companion offers more details. We hold a curious stance and wonder how the Holy is active in this or that particular experience. And before we know it, some kind of knowledge has come - a nudge in a direction, a gentle prompting to explore an idea, or simply and image of hope.
Back to my day job. When I sit in the mental health agency as mental health therapist, I am not outwardly invoking any deity, angel, or god. I am trying to help an anxious person quiet their inner self with breath. Or to help a confused person talk out their worry. I want to be of service in their struggle. And so the stance of the spiritual director helps me here. Not meaning that I direct anyone in my spiritual path. But that I adopt a stance of open listening. “I plan to stay open,” my spiritual directee said, “and see what comes today.”
When we find ourselves needing to help a situation, may we simply remain open. Observant. Expectant. On the look out for Hope that does come.
